Crop Circle Challenge 2013: Team Satan Respond

Previously, on Circular State of Mind:

So, the original challenge was cancelled, after a public battering based on the ridiculous terms and conditions proposed by the organisers. So, the organisers decided to throw down the challenge to Team Satan (also known as The Circlemakers from Circlemakers.org). Team Satan had until the end of May to respond to the challenge, and below is the response, copied from the Crop Circle Challenge Facebook page.

The Crop Circle Challenge 2013
Contact information: rob@circlemakers.org

This information concerns a recent challenge by a group calling itself the TCCC Group [formerly known as the EHA (Expanding Heart Awareness) group] fronted by the actor and author Sarah Miles, made to us, an artists’ collective known as The Circlemakers (www.circlemakers.org), who TCCC describe as “the most well known, prolific and media supported” crop circle-makers in the world.

Their challenge is to create a facsimile of a large crop circle that appeared at Milk Hill, Wiltshire, in 2001. TCCC are offering us “a reward” of £100,000 for the successful (in their eyes) completion of the task. Details are available on the TCCC 2013 website:www.cropcirclechallenge.co.uk/ The most pertinent detail is that TCCC have stated that they do not impose any rules: “You are free to make them yourself.”

In our thirty years of active service, The Circlemakers have maintained a policy of not claiming authorship of specific crop circles, except the ones we make for commercial purposes (Greenpeace, Microsoft, Nike, etc., as well as creative collaborations with Santiago Sierra, the Nu Metal band Korn, and others). As a rule, we believe that our work is most effective when it is affective; that once identified as man-made art, crop circles are unable to sustain the effects/affects otherwise ascribed to them. These artworks are made to be consumed by people who do not regard them as art.

No one has ever claimed authorship of the Milk Hill event of 2001, and we expect this artistic impasse to continue indefinitely. Our decision to accept the challenge should not be interpreted as a claim to the original event.

We accept the TCCC challenge under the following terms and conditions:

1. We make the circle in the USA, either in Bakersfield, California, or in a field of our choosing near the prehistoric Serpent’s Mound, Ohio.

2. We are transported to and from the site by helicopter and greeted at each end with a press conference.

3. A sushi chef is on hand at all times.

4. TCCC are responsible for paying our Healthcare charges in the event of any catastrophic ‘act of God,’ assassination attempts, food poisoning, accident, etc.

5. We are allowed to exploit TCCC’s links with Share International (www.share-international.org) and have Maitreya the World Teacher step forward and help us with the crop circle, at least by performing a miracle of returning us to the fitness levels we enjoyed twelve years ago.

6. Uri Geller and crop circles researcher Lucy Pringle will also be involved as part of the team, Pringle as Scientific Advisor with Geller responsible for ‘node bending’ support. Both will be expected to assist with the flattening.

7. Sarah Miles performs scenes of her choice from Blowup, Ryan’s Daughter, The Hireling, Those Magnificent Men in Their Flying Machines, The Silent Touch, The Big Sleep, and White Mischief in the crop circle as we are making it.

8. A very large grandfather clock is situated at the edge of the field to help us keep track of time.

9. We are allowed breaks for a team of qualified Swedish and/or Thai masseuses to soothe away any muscular aches we may have before, during or after the completion of the task.

10. We will be paid £50,000 one month in advance. The remaining £50,000 will be presented in cash in a suitcase by people dressed in black suits, driving a 1964 Cadillac Coupe de Ville. In addition to the reward of £100,000, we will each receive a hearty pat on the back and a kiss from Sarah when the task is completed (Ms. Miles not to have consumed any urine for at least one hour before kissing).

11. We are provided with a private dressing room with Moroccan drapes, candles and a ping pong table.

12. There will be quality snacks on hand such as Pringles/Dorritos and dipping sauces, custard creams, Rich Tea biscuits, cheese and pineapple on cocktail sticks, Ferrero Roche, Wagon Wheels, Olives, Ginsters pasties, blue M&Ms, Hobnobs, all to be served on china plates by TV chef Rusty Lee. There will be NO bowls of communal crisps with mixed flavours or own brand Rich Tea biscuits. No plastic or Styrofoam cups, glasses must be supplied.

13. The whole process is documented by film maker Morgan Spurlock.

Now, this typically Rob Irving response has already upset the public face of the Crop Circle Challenge, Janez Ferjancic, who has demanded the retraction of the conditions and an apology. Now, those who have been keeping an eye on some of the nonsense that goes on around crop circles should be aware that Rob and Team Satan are past-masters at winding-up those who take crop circles too seriously and they fully understand the cosmic-trickster element of crop circles. So Janez and the Crop Circle Challenge shouldn’t be too surprised that this response parodied their own ridiculous set of terms and conditions.

So, this will continue to limp on, with Janez and the Crop Circle Challenge probably looking more and more foolish as time goes on. Of course we can only wait and see if there has been some back-room deal between the two parties as many speculate or whether the Crop Circle Challenge throws open the challenge to other teams. Stay tuned, this one will run and run…

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